a merry-go-round

Lately, I feel like life is a merry-go-round:

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It's like a ride or game that just goes around and around and around and around and around and around and you get the point. It's all the same ol' same ol', nothing new under the sun. It's the ride you got on as a kid that your friends would spin so fast you felt like you were going to throw up. It's like I'm spinning or "moving" and yet I'm going nowhere at all. My life is the same that it was 1 year ago and 3 years ago, for that matter, plus or minus a couple things. Life goes through seasons and I get that...I get that life can't be mountain tops and rainbows all the time but this rut I'm in is a little bore some.

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I'm reminded of a song by The Eli Young Band called Guienevere. The chorus starts: For as much as she stumbled, she's running...For as much as she runs, she's still here...

After all I've been through, I'm still right here...it's like (yes, dramatic...but it's my blog so I guess I'm allowed to be a bit dramatic at times lol) : 

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You ever get tired of fighting the same thing or the same person over and over again? You ever get tired of friends turning on you? You ever get tired of watching other people's life unfold while you're is still in the tending stage? Because that's where I'm at.

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I'm learning to be content with the little that I have instead of the great things that I want or feel called to have. I'm learning to be patient and trust that God has a story all written out just for me. I'm learning that friends will come and go, even the ones I thought would never leave. I'm learning that my life will continue without them just like it was before them. I am learning that God gave me ready-made friends in my sisters and cousins for a reason.

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I am learning that God is orchestrating wise people and trustworthy friends and a godly man into my life as he sees fits. I'm learning that my life isn't like others...it's not moving at the pace of others or to the beat of their drums because God has something different for me. 

He's calling me to be set apart and different. And while, I don't yet know everything that he has for me...I have ideas, hints, dreams and hopes. I might not know exactly where he'll lead me but I know it'll be radically different from those around me.

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Different because I am learning that if I can be faithful through my mundane, merry-go-round season of life that eventually He will call the ride to a stop. He'll beckon me to come and He'll blow my mind with the perfect things that He'll have designed just for me; where there will be Boom Bands playing and where I'll move mountains ;)

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So until that day, patiently I'll wait....

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